Author Archives: RS

rachel s. 3 – 5pm

sat on the internet reading the liveblog. finished my entry and my supermelt. i have a side of apple wedges in the refrigerator which i will eat when i feel less full. now going to the pharmacy because i forgot to get vitamins at the grocery store and target didn’t have the type i wanted yesterday. contemplating rolling a j and roaming through the cemetery beside my apartment when i get back.

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rachel s. noon – 3pm

finally remove myself from my bed at around noon thirty. feel kind of sick, have a stomachache. turn on the shower. move two of the gerbils back into their spot in my room while i wait for the water to get hot. sometimes they sit in the front room in gerbil “time out” at night because they’re too noisy and don’t understand i can’t play because i have to sleep. gerbils can sleep whenever they want. they don’t have to go to work. wordpress just showed me a bunch of pictures of gerbils in the “related content” box. one of the pictures is captioned “castrated male” and goes on to explain problems that come with male gerbil castration. feel very confused as to why anyone would ever need to castrate a gerbil. rodent balls are probably the funniest kind of balls, also.

get in the shower closer to 1 than i intend. showering is a great stressor in my life. i have a lot of hair which takes a significant amount of time to wash and does not dry in less than 4 hours. hair dryers are useless. today will be a bun day. i continue showering grumpily. begin to think about all of the other things i could be doing if i were not showering: reading a book, using my phone, using my laptop, liveblogging, smoking weed, (interjection: just spilled ranch dressing on my couch god damnit) anything else that would require me to not be in a large stream of water. (i cleaned it up)

get out of the shower. check my phone. my boyfriend did not text me. he probably isn’t awake yet. long distance relationships suck.

it is now 1:30. begin the process of putting my hair in a bun and chat with a friend on facebook messenger about how people who complain about the friend zone irritate us. thankfully this liveblog is occurring after i learned how to put my hair in a bun using only a hair elastic; otherwise would have to describe the 5-7 attempts and throwing of the hair brush that inevitably accompanied it/at one point led to a broken hair brush.

one of the recommended posts for my current post is now “Are You A Gerbil?” (no) (sometimes i wish i was though)

the post office closes at 2. i estimate it will take 5 minutes to get there. pick out a blue floral skirt, search for a shirt to compliment it. eventually decide on my regina spektor “far” concert tee. i had a signed ticket stub from that concert, but lost it 2 years ago when someone stole the wallet it was in. i think about this every time i think about regina spektor and am sad all over again. but i got to hug her. so that was ok. put on my favorite Indie Girl Lace Up Boots ™ and hustle out the door by 1:45.

decide while en route to post office to go grocery shopping. pick up two packages at 1:53. feel accomplished. want a cigarette, but grocery store is beside post office. go on a drive through umass campus instead to kill time and arrive shortly after finishing cigarette. (image recommendations now showing regina spektor along with gerbils. feel the urge to hold one of my gerbils.)

feel inspired to find out if friendly’s does take-out orders for supermelts. they do. i sit in my car and order online. it is 2:11. my order will be ready at 2:50.

meander around the grocery store. planning to stock up on snacks, hoping i don’t forget i need butter and macaroni. if possible, i only shop at grocery stores that offer self-check-out lines because i am embarrassed by the contents of my shopping cart. i eat like a child. today i decide to make an effort to buy some fruit so as not to be totally humiliated if the self-check-out lines are closed.

after going through all of the snack aisles, my cart contains baked ruffles sour cream and cheddar, restaurant-style original tostitos (i am purchasing these because my boyfriend likes to eat them and i hope it will make me miss him less if i eat them too), chocolate chip pop tarts, one box each of ocean spray mixed berry and welch’s strawberry fruit snacks, hershey’s chocolate and cookies ‘n’ creme drops, and a pack of trident strawberry/tangerine layers gum. i hit the instant dinner aisles and get 3 boxes of annie’s arthur shapes macaroni, 1 box of annie’s rotini pasta, 2 boxes of betty crocker instant potatoes (garlic and butter & herb), 2 hormel’s compleats meals, 1 microwavable elbow macaroni tub, a 6-pack of maruchan beef ramen, and one hidden valley ranch bottle. i decide to pick up a box of special K red berries cereal. i hesitate because i remember reading something about kellogg’s being sued for lying about GMOs in their cereal. feel bad about this for a second, investigate the store brand, do not find any denial of GMOs there either. look at the rest of my cart’s contents and realize i will probably have to put everything back if i want to avoid GMOs. give up. put special K red berries in my cart.

decide to hit the dairy and fruit aisle. i have 15 minutes before i need to be at friendly’s to pick up my turkey supermelt (no tomatoes, ranch instead of thousand island dressing, please). get butter (i remembered), peach and pear fruit cups, grab a bolthouse vanilla soy chai on a whim. feel good because i remember bolthouse being specifically mentioned as GMO-free. am excited to get my daily value of protein. pick up a package of frozen berries in frozen fruit section. feel i am sufficiently prepared to have a cashier see my groceries if necessary.

at some point during all of this my boyfriend texts me “U get some sleep dear?” i respond “Yessss” and “I got up at 11.” he asks me when i went to bed. (i forget to respond until just now)

i do not have to see a cashier. i wheel my cart into self-check-out lane 4. save 5 dollars with my stop n shop card and spend 85 on groceries that will hopefully last me for another two weeks. i also hate grocery shopping because, like in a shower, i could be doing things other than grocery shopping during the time it takes me to shop. i have 10 minutes until i need to be at friendly’s. successfully check myself out, bag groceries, leisurely make my way to the car. friendly’s is across the street.

i am two minutes early to pick up my food, but they are also ready early. cashier attempts to charge me for my food, but i already paid online. cashier tells me it’s not possible to pay online and i begin to get very concerned/angry until suddenly he sees it is already authorized and sheepishly tells me i’m all set. drive home.

get back to my apartment and pull up in front of my door. begin to unload my groceries. stop to put away frozen and refrigerated foods; it is nearly 90 degrees out and i am worried about the frozen berries because it says “KEEP FROZEN, DO NOT REFREEZE” on the package and i am not confident my trunk is an appropriate place to keep them frozen. set my friendly’s carry-out box on the stove top because my apartment has no kitchen counters (or kitchen – my sink, oven and refrigerator awkwardly float in the corner of my living room). remove my packages from the post office. drive my car back to my complex parking lot.

plan on eating my food as i walk back to my apartment, but am struck by the need to take my pittsburgh penguins 2009 stanley cup champions door mat outside and shake/beat it before doing anything else. in all of the 4 years and 6 residencies through which i’ve owned this door mat, i have never cleaned it until now. i despise cleaning generally (what’s the point?), but sometimes get into “useful” moods when i have just accomplished errands that throw me into a cleaning frenzy. the door mat is covered in hair because i have a lot of hair and also lose a lot of hair. i begin punching the door mat. the dust seems never-ending. eventually give up, aware my food is getting cold. go inside. remember i am supposed to be liveblogging today. get comfortable on my couch, begin eating food and liveblogging.

the recommended images for this post are now regina spektor, a poster for the movie “Up,” a cow figurine, a california grocery store, and a shower caddy with the caption “water-saving shower accessory.”

11am – noon

11:00. wake up exactly when the hour changes. contemplate going back to sleep but feel ok. check my email and notifications because this is usually the first thing i do each morning.

11:10. get up to pee. catch my phone clock at 11:11 and wish that today doesn’t suck. go back to my room, open one blind, and get back in bed. i consider sleeping until noon. i have to go to the post office before 2. it isn’t urgent but i would like to not be a lazy shitheap on a saturday for once. sign up for a WordPress account and begin a post for this blog instead.

11:34. decide to go back to sleep. set my alarm for noon. end up laying there for 20 minutes and then suddenly begin dreaming about yelling at a young mom whose 3 year old somehow got in my apartment and started trying to take my shit. woke up still tired.