9:44pm i couldn’t write for a long time because bad things kept happening.
i did end up getting very drunk, and i made it home after a few hours of walking around. my roommate had bought us and her girlfriend tickets to a music festival on governor’s island. i ended up passing out, and lindsay also slept too late, and we were worried we’d miss the last ferries to the island.
it wouldn’t end up mattering if we missed the ferry because simply getting to the port ended up being nearly impossible. between the construction, rerouted trains, and our own frustration, we managed to spend nearly 3 hours going nowhere. We ended up taking a cab home and missed the festival.
Right now, I’m making up for it by getting stoned and looking at the giant moon outside my window. I’m seeing what people have written today, and it’s kind of interesting.
I haven’t rly been writing because i’m too busy texting my friends and smiling when ppl like the live blog 🙂
my roommate i think is making out rn. that’s awesome. i wish i was making out rn.
ive been thinking a lot lately about what i’d like in a relationship. i think the main thing i’m looking for is for it to rarely be a drag. i never want a relationship to be a drag. i know that’s unrealistic, but speaking in general terms a non-drag relationship would be ideal.
I just heard my roommate’s girlfriend say, “I love the way you look at me,”.
I’m smiling because that’s very sweet.
After a quick nap, I decided to sit outside and stare at the gigantic glowing moon. it’s blinding.
While I was napping I dreamed that some police officers caught me smoking weed and doing graffiti. They said they would let me go if I gave one of them head. I said ok but I have to go to the bathroom first. This is where I decide to secretly turn my phone on to record everything so that they can go to jail later. But I think I still do it.
Im sitting on my stoop alone tonight, and i’m glad for it. My mind needs a bit of quietting. Im smoking out of my one hitter and trying to figure out what’s bothering me. It’s probably just one of those days where things seem a little off, I move a little slower, and I might prefer to be here instead of jammed on a subway car or paying $10 for a drink only to eventually tire of having to smile for extended periods of time. Not because i’m sad, rly; I don’t think ppl realize some girls-women don’t smile all the time. U kno we don’t have to, rite?
My phone is dying but its perfect because
1. Its 11:12pm
2. I know what’s bothering me.
I realized 2 things about myself that I still do and I still don’t like.
Thing I do that I don’t like #1
I feel bad about feeling things, and feeling them intensely.
That’s stupid. I shouldn’t feel bad. Feeling is normal.
Thing I do that I don’t like #2
I might be an extrovert who rly doesn’t want to be one.
I always have thought of myself as someone who liked being alone-and I do. But lately I have been realizing how much I need good people around me. I’ve made many new friends over the past few weeks, and I am so much happier for it. but quiet is also nice. like tonight. have you seen the moon?
Daydreaming while staring at the moon, playing songs that make me feel sexy but idky. it’s something to do late at night on a saturday alone in your bed in skivvies enjoying the breeze sneaking thru the window.